Frasier Scripts archive

Season 1

[1.01] The Good Son
[1.02] Space Quest
[1.03] Dinner At Eight
[1.04] I Hate Frasier Crane
[1.05] Here’s Looking At You
[1.06] The Crucible
[1.07] Call Me Irresponsible
[1.08] Beloved Infidel
[1.09] Selling Out
[1.10] Oops!
[1.11] Death Becomes Him
[1.12] Miracle On 3rd Or 4th Street
[1.13] Guess Who’s Coming To Breakfast?
[1.14] Can’t Buy Me Love
[1.15] You Can’t Tell A Crook By His Cover
[1.16] The Show Where Lilith Comes Back
[1.17] A Mid-Winter Night’s Dream
[1.18] And The Whimper Is…
[1.19] Give Him The Chair!
[1.20] Fortysomething
[1.21] Travels With Martin
[1.22] Author, Author
[1.23] Frasier Crane’s Day Off
[1.24] My Coffee With Niles

Season 2

[2.01] Slow Tango In South Seattle
[2.02] The Unkindest Cut Of All
[2.03] The Matchmaker
[2.04] Flour Child
[2.05] Duke’s We Hardly Knew Ye’
[2.06] The Botched Langauge Of The Cranes
[2.07] The Candidate
[2.08] Adventures In Paradise [1]
[2.09] Adventures In Paradise [2]
[2.10] Burying A Grudge
[2.11] Seat Of Power
[2.12] Roz In The Doghouse
[2.13] Retirement Is Murder
[2.14] Fool Me Once, Shame On You…
[2.15] You Scratch My Book…
[2.16] The Show Where Sam Shows Up
[2.17] Daphne’s Room
[2.18] The Club
[2.19] Someone To Watch Over Me
[2.20] Breaking The Ice
[2.21] An Affair To Forget
[2.22] Agents In America, Part III
[2.23] The Innkeepers
[2.24] Dark Victory

Season 3

[3.01] She’s The Boss
[3.02] Shrink Rap
[3.03] Martin Does It His Way
[3.04] Leapin’ Lizards
[3.05] Kisses Sweeter Than Wine
[3.06] Sleeping With The Enemy
[3.07] The Adventures Of Bad Boy And Dirty Girl
[3.08] The Last Time I Saw Maris
[3.09] Frasier Grinch
[3.10] It’s Hard To Say Goodbye If You Won’t Leave
[3.11] The Friend
[3.12] Come Lie With Me
[3.13] Moon Dance
[3.14] The Show Where Diane Comes Back
[3.15] A Word To The Wiseguy
[3.16] Look Before You Leap
[3.17] High Crane Drifter
[3.18] Chess Pains
[3.19] Crane Vs. Crane
[3.20] Police Story
[3.21] Where There’s Smoke There’s Fired
[3.22] Frasier Loves Roz
[3.23] The Focus Group
[3.24] You Can Go Home Again

Season 4

[4.01] The Two Mrs. Cranes
[4.02] Love Bites Dog
[4.03] The Impossible Dream
[4.04] A Crane’s Critique
[4.05] Head Game
[4.06] Mixed Doubles
[4.07] A Lilith Thanksgiving
[4.08] Our Father Whose Art Ain’t Heaven
[4.09] Dad Loves Sherry, The Boys Just Whine
[4.10] Liar! Liar!
[4.11] Three Days Of The Condo
[4.12] Death And The Dog
[4.13] Four For The Seesaw
[4.14] To Kill A Talking Bird
[4.15] Roz’s Krantz & Gouldenstein Are Dead
[4.16] The Unnatural
[4.17] Roz’s Turn
[4.18] Ham Radio
[4.19] Three Dates And A Break Up [1]
[4.20] Three Dates And A Break Up [2]
[4.21] Daphne Hates Sherry
[4.22] Are You Being Served?
[4.23] Ask Me No Questions
[4.24] Odd Man Out

Season 5

[5.01] Frasier’s Imaginary Friend
[5.02] The Gift Horse
[5.03] Halloween
[5.04] The Kid
[5.05] The 1000th Show
[5.06] Voyage Of The Damned
[5.07] My Fair Frasier
[5.08] Desperately Seeking Closure
[5.09] Perspectives On Christmas
[5.10] Where Every Bloke Knows Your Name
[5.11] Ain’t Nobody’s Business If “I Do”
[5.12] The Zoo Story
[5.13] The Maris Counselor
[5.14] The Ski Lodge
[5.15] Room Service
[5.16] Beware Of Greeks
[5.17] The Perfect Guy
[5.18] Bad Dog
[5.19] Frasier Gotta Have It
[5.20] First Date
[5.21] Roz And The Schnoz
[5.22] The Life Of The Party
[5.23] Party, Party
[5.24] Sweet Dreams

Season 6

[6.01] Good Grief
[6.02] Frasier’s Curse
[6.03] Dial M For Martin
[6.04] Hot Tickets
[6.05] First Do No Harm
[6.06] Secret Admirer
[6.07] How To Bury A Millionaire
[6.08] The Seal Who Came To Dinner
[6.09] Roz, A Loan
[6.10] Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz
[6.11] Good Samaritan
[6.12] Our Parents, Ourselves
[6.13] The Show Where Woody Shows Up
[6.14] Three Valentines
[6.15] To Tell The Truth
[6.16] Decoys
[6.17] Dinner Party
[6.18] Taps At The Montana
[6.19] IQ
[6.20] Dr. Nora
[6.21] When A Man Loves Two Women
[6.22] Visions Of Daphne
[6.23] Shut Out In Seattle [1]
[6.24] Shut Out In Seattle [2]

Season 7

[7.01] Momma Mia
[7.02] Father Of The Bride
[7.03] Radio Wars
[7.04] Everyone’s A Critic
[7.05] The Dog That Rocks The Cradle
[7.06] Rivals
[7.07] A Tsar Is Born
[7.08] The Late Dr. Crane
[7.09] The Apparent Trap
[7.10] Back Talk [1]
[7.11] The Fight Before Christmas [2]
[7.12] RDWRER
[7.13] They’re Playing Our Song
[7.14] Big Crane On Campus
[7.15] Out With Dad
[7.16] Something About Dr. Mary
[7.17] Whine Club
[7.18] Hot Pursuit
[7.19] Morning Becomes Entertainment
[7.20] To Thine Old Self Be True
[7.21] The Three Faces Of Frasier
[7.22] Dark Side Of The Moon
[7.23] Something Borrowed, Someone Blue [1]
[7.24] Something Borrowed, Someone Blue [2]

Season 8

[8.01] And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon [1]
[8.02] And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon [2]
[8.03] The Bad Son
[8.04] The Great Crane Robbery
[8.05] Taking Liberties
[8.06] Legal Tender Love and Care
[8.07] The New Friend
[8.08] Mary Christmas
[8.09] Frasier’s Edge
[8.10] Cranes Unplugged
[8.11] Motor Skills
[8.12] The Show Must Go Off
[8.13] Sliding Frasiers
[8.14] Hungry Heart
[8.15] Hooping Cranes
[8.16] Docu.Drama
[8.17] It Takes Two To Tangle
[8.18] Forgotten But Not Gone
[8.19] Daphne Returns
[8.20] The Wizard and Roz
[8.21] Semi-Decent Proposal [1]
[8.22] A Passing Fancy [2]
[8.23] A Day in May
[8.24] Cranes Go Caribbean

Season 9

[9.01] Don Juan in Hell [1]
[9.02] Don Juan in Hell [2]
[9.03] The First Temptation of Daphne
[9.04] The Return of Martin Crane
[9.05] Love Stinks
[9.06] Room Full of Heroes
[9.07] Bla-Z-Boy
[9.08] The Two Hundredth
[9.09] Sharing Kirby
[9.10] Junior Agent
[9.11] Bully for Martin
[9.12] Mother Load [1]
[9.13] Mother Load [2]
[9.14] Juvenilia
[9.15] The Proposal
[9.16] Wheels of Fortune
[9.17] Three Blind Dates
[9.18] War of the Words
[9.19] Deathtrap
[9.20] The Love You Fake
[9.21] Cheerful Goodbyes
[9.22] Frasier Has Spokane
[9.23] The Guilt Trippers
[9.24] Moons Over Seattle

Season 10

[10.01] The Ring Cycle
[10.02] Enemy At The Gate
[10.03] Proxy Prexy
[10.04] Kissing Cousin
[10.05] Tales From The Crypt
[10.06] Star Mitzvah
[10.07] Bristle While You Work [1]
[10.08] Rooms With a View [2]
[10.09] Don’t Go Breaking My Heart [3]
[10.10] We Two Kings
[10.11] Door Jam
[10.12] The Harassed
[10.13] Lilith Needs A Favor
[10.14] Daphne Does Dinner
[10.15] Trophy Girlfriend
[10.16] Fraternal Schwinns
[10.17] Kenny On The Couch
[10.18] Roe To Perdition
[10.19] Some Assembly Required
[10.20] Farewell, Nervosa
[10.21] The Devil and Dr. Phil
[10.22] Fathers And Sons
[10.23] Analyzed Kiss
[10.24] A New Position For Roz

Season 11

[11.01] No Sex Please, We’re Skittish
[11.02] A Man, A Plan, and A Gal: Julia
[11.03] The Doctor Is Out
[11.04] The Babysitter
[11.05] The Placeholder
[11.06] I’m Listening
[11.07] Maris Returns [1]
[11.08] Murder Most Maris [2]
[11.09] Guns N’ Neuroses
[11.10] Sea Bee Jeebies
[11.11] High Holidays
[11.12] Frasier-Lite
[11.13] The Ann Who Came To Dinner
[11.14] Freudian Sleep
[11.15] Caught In The Act
[11.16] Boo!
[11.17] Coots and Ladders
[11.18] Match Game
[11.19] Miss Right Now
[11.20] And Frasier Makes Three
[11.21] Detour
[11.22] Crock Tales
[11.23] Goodnight, Seattle [1]
[11.24] Goodnight, Seattle [2]

  1. Alex Jones
    March 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Stellar Job – I love Frasier, and the site with the Transcripts (TVTWIZ) was closed down recently. Thanx for creating PDF’s.

  2. Ana
    March 8, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Thank you so much, I love Frasier too, and tvtwiz was the place where I read and took the scripts too.

    again, thank you very very much for your work, I think I had lost them forever

  3. Elliot
    March 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Great job!!! Love the show very much.
    thank you very very much for your work

  4. Best Man
    April 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Can anyone send me the episode (I believe Season 8, Episode 1 or 2) which has the speech Frasier gave to Niles and Mel? I would like to incorporate that into my toast…thanks for any help!!!

  5. April 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    It goes something like this (by Frasier), if this was what you were looking for :

    Love…is an awesome force. It can make us do
    things we never imagined possible. For you see, we don’t
    actually choose love, it chooses us. And once it has, we are
    powerless to do anything about it. Ladies and gentlemen,
    raise your glasses with me in toasting my brother… and the
    love of his life.
    For she is truly the woman of his dreams, and my father and I
    could not be more thrilled with his choice. To the happy

    • Robert A. Diaz
      July 9, 2011 at 2:18 pm

      I always thought this was one of the more crafty toasts Frasier ever gave. Even Mel noted it shortly afterward. One of but many things about this series that makes Frasier a perennial classic.

  6. YM
    May 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I love your archive and really enjoy reading those scripts.

    Thank you for your hard and great work!

  7. leslie
    June 25, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    Thank you for putting these on line. I have every episode on DVD, but the humour at times is even better in the spoken word.

    Can anyone point me towards the episode where Niles attempts to ingratiate himself with Daphne by smearing pate behind his ears for Eddy to lick off ?

    I’ve told my wife about this one, but would love to show her

    • June 25, 2011 at 8:56 pm

      Thanks, leslie. I think you’re looking for the episode 2.02, The Unkindest Cut Of All.

  8. Robert A. Diaz
    July 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    Thank you SO much for archiving these! I got the entire series on DVD and love being able to reference the scripts on occasion. I’m very grateful for this place, thank you again!

  9. Levana
    August 1, 2011 at 4:48 am

    Great job! I just love the show.
    By the way – there is a problem with 1.06 and 1.08 – they give episodes10.6 and 10.8

  10. November 8, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Great site. It’s the DVD box set I turn to on a regular basis. Must have taken you ages to compile the scripts for all 11 seasons.

  11. Lily
    December 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Oh my goodness, what a treasure! I LOVE Frasier, Thank YOU!!!!

  12. January 8, 2012 at 5:16 am

    Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I in finding It truly helpful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something again and aid others such as you helped me.

  13. Leslie
    January 9, 2012 at 2:49 am

    OH I AM SOOOO HAPPY I found YOU!!! I need help and it seems like you are the one for the job! I am looking for a certain episode of Fraiser. In this episode, Fraiser is on the air and he makes a speach. Now i dont remember word for word but it was something about … you dont know how you will ever get through this. then one day turns into a week, and a week into a month and a month into a year and one day you look back and say hey, i got through that. can you help me please!?

  14. Saz
    May 30, 2012 at 2:14 am


  15. Roy
    July 9, 2012 at 2:08 am

    Awesome job!

  16. Bharath
    August 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Grateful for the laughs! Thank You!

  17. Happy Punter!
    October 28, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Thank you so much for making this available. These Fraiser scripts deserve accessability, it was a staggering sucess; a compliment to the fantastic standards the production team achieved.

  18. Reem
    November 21, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Thank you so much for collecting this treasure!!!! My second language is English but I do speak English fluently. just sometimes I didn’t get some of the inside-jokes and I’m a big fan of Frasier. This is an AWESOME treasure find ! =D thanks again!

  19. rollie
    November 22, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    you’re a rock star!!! thanks!

  20. November 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you so much!

  21. David Mustin
    January 12, 2013 at 8:16 am

    The writing involved in this show is a marvel. Finding your site and being able to chuckle along as I read what I have recently seen on the TV is one of the things to celebrate this internet for. Thanks so much for the time and effort to make these available.

  22. May 8, 2013 at 10:27 am

    I love this show, and it was sad when TVTWIZ closed, but I was always hoping to find the rest of the scripts, I was able to grab some of them while it was still open. When I started watching, I thought to myself that even the upper class can make for good comedy.

  23. Lisa P
    June 17, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    3.12: “Ferrante and Teicher”

    Thanks so much for this service!

  24. Lisa P
    June 17, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    Gonna sound just like Frasier, here : )

    3.12: about the kitchen sponge, betting it’s “salmonella, listeria, and shigella.”

    Amazing writing!

  25. Bobby
    March 10, 2014 at 11:51 am

    what is the episode where Dog was talking to Frasier. It is where he mentions when he walks in on his father. Which his farther replies ” You don’t look at the poker when you stick it in the fire.”

  26. cngadmin
    March 10, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    You mean Bulldog, right? The episode is: 4.16 The Unnatural.

    Bobby :

    what is the episode where Dog was talking to Frasier. It is where he mentions when he walks in on his father. Which his farther replies ” You don’t look at the poker when you stick it in the fire.”

  27. Stevjek
    April 21, 2014 at 3:16 am

    Can anyyone remember which episode Niles uses the expression “gestalt” ? The more you watch Frasier, the more you appreciate it. It’s got to be one of the most sophisticated comedy programmes ever.

  28. cngadmin
    April 21, 2014 at 7:16 am

    The one that comes to mind is: 7.13 They’re Playing Our Song. “Someone who doesn’t know a thing about psychiatry… who doesn’t understand the whole Gestalt”

    Stevjek :

    Can anyyone remember which episode Niles uses the expression “gestalt” ? The more you watch Frasier, the more you appreciate it. It’s got to be one of the most sophisticated comedy programmes ever.

  29. Stevjek
    April 22, 2014 at 5:49 am

    Thank you for your reply, much apreciated. It just shows just how much research must have gone into making this series.

  30. April 28, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    In which episode are Frasier and Niles discussing the learning of a foreign language, and in response to Frasier saying something like, “…they are even making us learn the future conditional tense!”, Niles says, “When would you ever need to use that?”?

  31. Iain
    July 7, 2014 at 3:21 am

    Living in the Southern Hemisphere I first saw Frasier when I was in Florida in 1993 and immediately thought it was fantastic and it still is even when now we know the plot script and conclusion.

  32. Nazir
    July 20, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Thanks for doing this. In the midst of browsing them and realised that 9.09 is not there.

    Hope it’s possible to fix this.

  33. August 30, 2014 at 7:24 am

    I watch Frazier evert day & before I retire at night ! I find it very cathartic , love all the characters , they were all stellar !!

  34. Juan Pastor
    August 5, 2015 at 3:09 am

    This scripts help me to understand some jokes and cliches, thank so much.

    Excellent job 🙂

  35. sai
    January 12, 2018 at 5:45 pm

    We are a Frasier family. And these transcripts are pure gold. Much appreciated and may all your dreams come true!

  1. September 24, 2012 at 12:46 pm
  2. July 5, 2014 at 8:39 pm

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